Touch Watching and “Thumbs Up” Two-Step Verification

I don’t think that I can count the number of times over the years I have heard a parent recount the horror of a drowning, both fatal and non fatal, where they used phrases like these:

“I told my partner that I was just going inside to use the bathroom and he needed to watch our child in the water. I thought he heard me. He didn’t. So grateful our failed communication didn’t end in a tragedy.”

“We were at a birthday party and the adults were watching the kids in the pool but we were not in the pool. I thought that we were watching them. We were not watching my child carefully enough. She got stuck under a pool float. Had I been in the water with her, I would have seen that there was a potential issue before there was an issue.”

“I took my kids to the pool and I told them that they couldn’t go into the pool until after everything was set up. I was getting out towels and putting on sunscreen and then I realized my youngest was not with us. I looked up and saw my child on the steps in the pool.”

Have YOU had an experience like this?? Do you know of anyone close to you who has??

So many families have and they are very scary experiences and ones that they NEVER want to repeat.

Using The Watching Initiative, I would like to work together to introduce new strategies that will help all parents feel more in control when their children are in or around water AND develop new habits so that scenarios like those above just don’t happen.

Are you ready to get started??

First of all, please remember that everything begins and ends with W-A-T-C-H-I-N-G!!

The definition of “WATCHING” is to be alertly on the lookout, looking ATTENTIVELY as to see what comes, is done or happens. Our children deserve for us to be WATCHING them, not merely “observing” as is the definition of supervising.

If we aren’t WATCHING our children in and around water, then all the additional strategies in the world will not help to keep them safe enough, to ensure that they will not drown.

Within the “T” strategy of The Watching Initiative, we will talk about “Touch Watching” and “Thumbs Up - Two Step Verification”.

Let’s get started.

Touch watching happens IN the water

If your child is a non-swimmer, unable to save their own life and swim independently, without the use of some kind of floatation device, outside of the bathtub, you need to be IN the water with them at all times, within THEIR arms reach of you.

IN the water, WITH them.

If you put your child in a floatation device and allow them to go into water without you, you have now taught them that being in the water WITHOUT YOU IS OK. They may not understand that in one instance this is OK but in another one, it is not. This is one reason why and one scenario how children drown.

Here are some situations parents NEVER do, where their child’s safety is concerned.

You would NEVER put an orange vest on your child, take them to the front door of the grocery store and tell them to have fun going through the parking lot and getting themselves to the car and that you would meet them there.

You would NEVER put your child in a shopping cart and leave them in one aisle while you went to shop for something in a different aisle.

You would NEVER put a pot on a hot stove top, ask your toddler to stand there and stir the pot while you walk away to work on another task.

You would NEVER put a helmet on your child and allow them to pedal themselves down a large hill.

We treat water and water environments very carelessly, far more carelessly than other environments our children are in.

When we are in potentially dangerous situations with our children, ones where they could be hurt, we use words and phrases like “Stay here”, “Hold my hand”, “Don’t leave my side”, “Walk with me” and “Keep your hand on the buggy” just to give you a few examples.

By allowing your child to be in water without you in any situation, you have given them inappropriate independence and when you use a floatation device, you give both your child and yourself a false sense of security that they are safe in the water. We will talk about this topic even more in strategy “H”.

How would childhood drownings be impacted if we used the phases I just mentioned above with our children when they were around water?

How would YOUR child’s experience in and around water be impacted if you used those same phrases and made sure that you were fully engaged in TOUCH WATCHING with them when they were in the water?

Let’s commit to TOUCH WATCHING, which means ALWAYS being in the water with your child and no more than their arms length away from you, just in case they need you.

Thumbs Up Two-Step Verification

One of the things that I have created for the Swim With Miss Dayna Swim School is what I call the “Thumbs Up” Two Step Verification System. It works so well that I want to share it with you as well.

I created the “Thumbs Up” Two Step Verification System so that the children are guaranteed an adult’s eyes are ALWAYS on them. ALWAYS.

Let me explain.

Kids to Parents and Parents to Kids

After a child has finished their last skill in their lesson, they will go from me to their Waiting Whale Mat which is on the side of the pool deck. After they sit on the mat, they look to where their parent is sitting and they give their parent a “thumbs up”. Only when their parent returns the “thumbs up” is that child allowed to get up off the mat and walk to their parent.

I have eyes on this child until they get the return “thumbs up” and then I am able to move on to the next child who has been WAITING for their turn to complete their last skill of the class. I know that I can move on because with the return “thumbs up”, that parent has signaled to me that they know their child is done with lessons, they are aware that they are going to walk to them and they are telling me that they are now in charge of their child.

From a child’s first swimming lesson, even if they are under 1, this is a skill we get started with. Even if it means that parents or myself, physically manipulate a child’s hand to give a thumbs up, that is what we do. The “thumbs up” doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, its kind of cute when its not but what is critical is teaching your child what this signal means and then the steps that follow it so that your child knows they go from pool to parent.

We don’t want children getting distracted and putting themselves back in the pool. We don’t want parents being distracted at any point in this interaction either.

The sooner you can start this signaling system with your child, the sooner you will find there will be fewer and fewer opportunities for your child to get themselves in to a dangerous situation around any water environment. There will also be fewer opportunities for lapses in an adult’s eyes being on your child around water.

When there are no lapses, it is my goal that there be no drownings either.

Parents to Parents

In this two step verification, one parent is communicating to the other parent that they are going to take their eyes off their child and confirming that the other parent will immediately have their eyes on their child.

A ZERO lapse in WATCHING. That is what we are working to accomplish.

We will again be using the thumbs up signal rather than relying on our voices. Sometimes when we speak words, we think or assume that the other person has heard us and we do not always look for a verbal response in return. This is where miscommunication and subsequent problems happen.

By using a thumbs up signal, there is no question that the other person has seen you and since they know what the signs means, they will be ready to take over WATCHING duties.

Let’s walk through an example of how this could look.

Parent is in the water with a child and the other parent is sitting away from the water, watching from that vantage point and the child wants to get out of the water and go to the other parent.

Child first goes to sit on their Waiting Whale Mat, which would be close to the water's edge. After parents have each other’s attention and give the “thumbs up” to ensure everyone is on the same page and knows who is WATCHING, the child will also then give the thumbs up sign to the parent he is going to and will receive a thumbs up in response from that parent.

Same as in swimming lessons, your child will not leave their Waiting Whale Mat until they have received that thumbs up.

I hope that you can see just how effective the “Thumbs Up” Two Step Verification system can be for your family. It is easy and it is fun but most of all, it will be a HUGE factor in keeping your child safe in and around all water environments. The Waiting Whale Family Water Safety Kit is there to help you every step of the way.

I know I say this often but before we wrap this up, I need to say it one more time. Please remember, if your child is not an independent swimmer, able to save their own life in the water, then they should NEVER be in water by themselves.

So, now we have TOUCH WATCHING and “THUMBS UP” – 2 Step Verification as tools in our arsenal of things we can use to keep our children safer in and around water. We can never have too many things available to us but I truly believe that this one is important and so easily doable all the time.